Are you a good tipper? Going out to eat is becoming rare as the kids no longer order off the kid's menu. Plus, since Sean started swimming again, he'd order two full meals. However, when we do, and it's not fast food, I tip about 20% or $2 per person at the table. I know there are still people who dig the change from their pocket/purse and tip what ever is in the bottom. 50 cents, 75 cents - now that's more of an insult.
When I get my hair cut, whether at a barber or if Kaitlyn does it, I tip a couple of bucks. I know Shirley tips the dog groomer about $5. (Why does the dog groomer get a larger tip than my barber?) As Ty will say "The dog has hair".
When Kaitlyn started working at Skateland, I let her in on a little secret. If it looks like the father will be paying, gently put your hand on his shoulder and ask if there is anything else they need. Nothing too obvious and nothing that gets the wife's attention. If we are out and the waitress puts her hand on my shoulder, it's an automatic $5 more. If HE puts HIS hand on Shirley's shoulder, I deduct $10.
When I get my car washed, I leave change lying around - not so much as a tip but to see if it disappears. Who are the people you should really tip? Your Dr. or nurse probably wouldn't hurt. Your kids' teachers would be most deserving. Our former mail lady should have been tipped. I don't care how bad the weather was, we ALWAYS got our mail. The school bus driver - is there a person who can't get paid enough?
This is our dilemma - the paper delivery person (PDP). Years ago, we'd pay the PDP monthly for the paper and they'd take the payment to The Forum. We may have tipped a little but I don't remember making a conscious effort of it. After all, what were they going to do? Not deliver the paper? Chuck it through out window? For the past decade, we've gotten only the Sat. and Sun. paper and pay The Forum directly. It is almost always delivered before we arise in the morning. The rarest of rare exceptions is a problem with the printing process or a blizzard. I know there are people that complain when their paper isn't delivered during a blizzard. I, however, don't want someone out risking their life so I can read the comics.
The trouble is, we don't know who the delivery person is. Is it the same person each week? Do they change routes? What if I left $5 in the door and their substitute gets it?
Yesterday (Saturday) our paper came with a small bag of chocolates and a nice Christmas card with a picture of a delivery person in the snow selling The Forum. A true Normal Rockwell scene. At the bottom of the card, it was signed "Merry Christmas from your PDP - baby on the way". I read it a couple of times just to make sure I was reading it correctly.
So last night I stuck a card in the door where the PDP would see it. It was one of the cheaper 100 cards for $2 stock. On the inside I wrote "Merry Christmas from the DeWitz Family - 2 teenager$, they each have their driver'$ licen$e, and will $oon be heading off to college."
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Ready for Winter
Yesterday was the day at the DeWitz household to batten down the hatches and settle in for winter. Sean and I got the snow blower out, put the lawn mower away (needs an oil change....next spring will have to do), got the garden hoses drained and rolled up, got the pots and planters in or at least moved from harm's way, and all that fun stuff.
We have a storage shed behind our garage that is the catch all for everything. The patio furniture is always packed in first. The table is too big to carry down the steps the safe way. It has to be hoisted overhead and carried down above the rail. I've done it for years and it is not a big deal. Yesterday, with the 40 mph winds, I wasn't sure if it would be my last year or not, but I made it. Next is the other large stuff: mower, wheel barrow, fertilizer spreader, edger, trimmer, then we start piling the small stuff on that. The trampoline cushion and mat, the pots and planters, the leaf blower, the hoses, the sprinklers (like we ever need more water in Fargo), etc, etc. The hardest part is making sure there is 1/2 inch of space so the doors can close until next spring. At which time I'll open the shed and swear at the mess I created last fall. Trust me, though - there will be a time in mid January when someone somewhere will need something....that's stored in the shed. It happens every year. So then it is digging the snow away from the door, chipping the ice, and opening to the not so well packed mess. Best case scenario.......the "needed" item can be seen - way at the back. Worst case, it can't be seen, I assume it is in the back, but after rummaging realize it is not there.
But, anyway, we got the doors shut and locked. The fun part of the day was taking my snow blower in for a tune up. In 1988 I sold my first car (well used by then) and took the proceeds to buy a new snow blower. The house we lived in had a single driveway leading up to a 2 stall garage BEHIND the house. I always knew the person who designed the "garage behind the house" had never grown up in ND. My point....we needed a good snow blower and the neighbor who had been doing our driveway had the balls to move. Back then, I even did some work for hire in the neighborhood. Not enough to pay for the snow blower, but enough to pay for gauze and ointment for my frost bite.
That snow blower has survived many a storm. The winters of 95-96, 96-97, and 08-09. I've done countless nieghbor's driveways. I've run several wood blocks, rocks, garden hoses, sprinklers, lawn ornaments, and stray pets through it over the years and have never done a repair except for the occasional spark plug and annual oil change. I've had it apart several times removing foreign, non snow, objects from it's mechanism, but nothing broken.
It has always needed full choke and it honestly had to be primed until the gas runs out of the carburetor to start. Yesterday, as we were getting it out and ready to be hauled to the shop, Sean asked why it had an electrical cord attached. I explained the trouble with starting a 8 hp engine when it's 30 below (leaving out his father's lack of patience when it is 30 below). So instead of moving it closer to an outlet (....let's look at that. First I'm too lazy to manually start it so pay for the electric start attachment, now I'm even too damn lazy to move it close to the outlet??!!)...I decided to try it the old fashioned way. Full choke, prime prime prime it until gas is running out the engine, key on, full throttle, and with ONE (yes, one) pull......boom, boom, boom, boom, smoke everywhere, machine rattling like a bucket of loose bolts, it comes to life and purrs like a kitten. Runs like a charm - always has. This thing doesn't miss a beat, as long as you POUR gas into it.
We loaded it on the trailer (see previous story) and hauled it to The Garden Hut. Neighbor Rob had started this business from scratch and it has really grown. I'd never been there so was anxious to see his new business (I have something else in mind, too). Sean and I get there, get it unloaded, do the usual small talk, and on my way out, Rob starts commenting about his new items in stock. Yeeessss, the real reason I'm here. I told him that the next time I need a new blower/mower, I'm doing away with one of each and getting a riding mower/blower. But that's a few years off......
Rob said "well, before you completely dismiss it, let me show you what I've got in back".
"I can't", I said.......as I rushed to follow him to the back. Sean was right behind me. I'm sure, going through his mind, was "oh, this is going to be good. Dad is going to sit on a riding mower, fall in love, and buy one. Besides that fun, when he has to tell Mom, I'll get to listen to him get in TROUBLE - AGAIN".
Rob took me back to furthest secret corner of the building. The place reserved for "showing" his best of the best. There it was. Spotlights shining like an epiphany from above on a brand new Cub Cadet "Cadillac of Cadillacs" garden tractor with a snow blower. I knew I didn't dare sit on it - as I hoisted myself up to the seat. The thing was like a stretch limo - and I like big cars. It even had a cup holder for my hot chocolate in the winter and iced beverage in the summer. Damn....I'd look good on this. I'd welcome the 3 foot chunk of icy sludge at the end of the driveway from the fk'n city plows if I had this machine in my garage. I'd be plowing FOR the city, instead of against them.
No, I didn't buy it. My mower is new and the blower works fine.
But (isn't there always a "but") as I was falling asleep last night, I started dreaming of me doing a "walk around" of my new machine. The final instructions before I took it home.
You know how when you start to fall asleep, you often jump because of some stupid thing in your dream - falling, getting hit, stumbling?? During the walk around in my dream I slipped on ice and woke up. I think in some sort of twisted way that Shirley was the patch of ice.
My brother in law, Jeff, is supposed to get the snow blower attachment for his new riding mower so he can endlessly brag about it when we're around - thus convincing US it would be a good idea to get one as well. I think my sister is his patch of ice. (oh, the comments that could come from that sentence).
We have a storage shed behind our garage that is the catch all for everything. The patio furniture is always packed in first. The table is too big to carry down the steps the safe way. It has to be hoisted overhead and carried down above the rail. I've done it for years and it is not a big deal. Yesterday, with the 40 mph winds, I wasn't sure if it would be my last year or not, but I made it. Next is the other large stuff: mower, wheel barrow, fertilizer spreader, edger, trimmer, then we start piling the small stuff on that. The trampoline cushion and mat, the pots and planters, the leaf blower, the hoses, the sprinklers (like we ever need more water in Fargo), etc, etc. The hardest part is making sure there is 1/2 inch of space so the doors can close until next spring. At which time I'll open the shed and swear at the mess I created last fall. Trust me, though - there will be a time in mid January when someone somewhere will need something....that's stored in the shed. It happens every year. So then it is digging the snow away from the door, chipping the ice, and opening to the not so well packed mess. Best case scenario.......the "needed" item can be seen - way at the back. Worst case, it can't be seen, I assume it is in the back, but after rummaging realize it is not there.
But, anyway, we got the doors shut and locked. The fun part of the day was taking my snow blower in for a tune up. In 1988 I sold my first car (well used by then) and took the proceeds to buy a new snow blower. The house we lived in had a single driveway leading up to a 2 stall garage BEHIND the house. I always knew the person who designed the "garage behind the house" had never grown up in ND. My point....we needed a good snow blower and the neighbor who had been doing our driveway had the balls to move. Back then, I even did some work for hire in the neighborhood. Not enough to pay for the snow blower, but enough to pay for gauze and ointment for my frost bite.
That snow blower has survived many a storm. The winters of 95-96, 96-97, and 08-09. I've done countless nieghbor's driveways. I've run several wood blocks, rocks, garden hoses, sprinklers, lawn ornaments, and stray pets through it over the years and have never done a repair except for the occasional spark plug and annual oil change. I've had it apart several times removing foreign, non snow, objects from it's mechanism, but nothing broken.
It has always needed full choke and it honestly had to be primed until the gas runs out of the carburetor to start. Yesterday, as we were getting it out and ready to be hauled to the shop, Sean asked why it had an electrical cord attached. I explained the trouble with starting a 8 hp engine when it's 30 below (leaving out his father's lack of patience when it is 30 below). So instead of moving it closer to an outlet (....let's look at that. First I'm too lazy to manually start it so pay for the electric start attachment, now I'm even too damn lazy to move it close to the outlet??!!)...I decided to try it the old fashioned way. Full choke, prime prime prime it until gas is running out the engine, key on, full throttle, and with ONE (yes, one) pull......boom, boom, boom, boom, smoke everywhere, machine rattling like a bucket of loose bolts, it comes to life and purrs like a kitten. Runs like a charm - always has. This thing doesn't miss a beat, as long as you POUR gas into it.
We loaded it on the trailer (see previous story) and hauled it to The Garden Hut. Neighbor Rob had started this business from scratch and it has really grown. I'd never been there so was anxious to see his new business (I have something else in mind, too). Sean and I get there, get it unloaded, do the usual small talk, and on my way out, Rob starts commenting about his new items in stock. Yeeessss, the real reason I'm here. I told him that the next time I need a new blower/mower, I'm doing away with one of each and getting a riding mower/blower. But that's a few years off......
Rob said "well, before you completely dismiss it, let me show you what I've got in back".
"I can't", I said.......as I rushed to follow him to the back. Sean was right behind me. I'm sure, going through his mind, was "oh, this is going to be good. Dad is going to sit on a riding mower, fall in love, and buy one. Besides that fun, when he has to tell Mom, I'll get to listen to him get in TROUBLE - AGAIN".
Rob took me back to furthest secret corner of the building. The place reserved for "showing" his best of the best. There it was. Spotlights shining like an epiphany from above on a brand new Cub Cadet "Cadillac of Cadillacs" garden tractor with a snow blower. I knew I didn't dare sit on it - as I hoisted myself up to the seat. The thing was like a stretch limo - and I like big cars. It even had a cup holder for my hot chocolate in the winter and iced beverage in the summer. Damn....I'd look good on this. I'd welcome the 3 foot chunk of icy sludge at the end of the driveway from the fk'n city plows if I had this machine in my garage. I'd be plowing FOR the city, instead of against them.
No, I didn't buy it. My mower is new and the blower works fine.
But (isn't there always a "but") as I was falling asleep last night, I started dreaming of me doing a "walk around" of my new machine. The final instructions before I took it home.
You know how when you start to fall asleep, you often jump because of some stupid thing in your dream - falling, getting hit, stumbling?? During the walk around in my dream I slipped on ice and woke up. I think in some sort of twisted way that Shirley was the patch of ice.
My brother in law, Jeff, is supposed to get the snow blower attachment for his new riding mower so he can endlessly brag about it when we're around - thus convincing US it would be a good idea to get one as well. I think my sister is his patch of ice. (oh, the comments that could come from that sentence).
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Priceless
Since I bought my motorcycle earlier this summer, I've been wanting to take it somewhere fun to drive. The flats of Fargo aren't that scenic - Duluth and the Black Hills come to mind first. I'm not one for hours of interstate riding on a motorcycle so naturally, I'd have to haul it. Hauling it would involve two options - buying a pickup ($$$$$) or buying a trailer ($). The fewer ($) present, the better it'd fly at home so I decided to go with the trailer option.
I started looking at new trailers; anywhere from $400 to $1,700. For $400 you got two small wheels and a frame made of Erector Set material. For $1,700 the trailer loaded itself. I was looking for something UNDER $300. All the used ones I could find in that range had been welded and badly reinforced or needed so much welding that I wasn't sure if I'd make it home with them.
It has been said a million times when out shopping for something....I can make it myself cheaper than that. Knowing that this is always(?) true, I got the bright idea of making one. That seemed like it'd get expensive in a hurry as well (the sum of the parts is greater than that of the whole theory). Scratch that idea. I'm not sure why so many of my ideas get scratched...I must be related to Ty (my brother).
After all these ideas, I read about people converting boat trailers to utility trailers. Larger wheels, heavy frames, axles rated for higher pounds...YES, that's it. And boat trailers are picked up fairly easily toward the end of summer - abundant and cheap.
So I began looking for those. As soon as one went up for sale, I'd call to look at it but it had already been sold. Or the trailer wasn't built like I needed it. It had to be a flat frame, not a bowed frame. Finally one Sunday, minutes before we were to leave for church, one popped up on the Internet. I emailed the party saying I'd be there right after church and to call me. Looking further at the picture, it was exactly what I wanted. I e-mailed again saying never mind...I'LL TAKE IT - call me - evening during church. I turned my phone on vibrate, sat at the end of the pew, and at the back....no call, no call, no call. Great...someone else bought it, I thought. Luckily I got a call as soon as church was out - I was the first to respond to their posting so had first chance at it - Divine Intervention, I'm sure! By now, it was dark (we'd gone to the Sunday night service). I immediately drove to the trailer, looked it over, and damn near pissed myself with excitement as I handed the seller the cash. Exactly what I wanted!!
Of course, during this whole "looking for a trailer" process, my family had become bored and resentful of my struggles. They were all extremely excited that I'd finally found something. Upon bringing it home, honestly, you could see the disappointment in their eyes as they walked into the garage to see the FAMILY'S new trailer - yes, I was willing to share my prize. It was a 16' Lund boat trailer with all the trimmings. Roller arms, rollers, pads, guides, and a winch.....all necessary for a boat trailer, but not a motorcycle trailer.
The first thing I did was take off all the unnecessary items and reposition the hitch. There, it looked like a heavy duty jet ski trailer. I won't bore you with the constant harassing comments from the kids; let's just say they still weren't impressed. I moved it to the back yard so we could have our garage back and explained to the neighbors that, no, I was not going to hang a Sanford and Son sign in our yard.....at this time we had 7 licensed modes of transportation - but that's a story for another time.
I loved (notice the past tense verbiage) this trailer; it was heavy duty but easy to move, well balanced and sturdy, step fenders and brand new 14" tires, and only $150 - what a steal....did these people know what they'd sold and how much more they could have gotten?
Labor Day weekend....I should repack or replace the wheel bearings. A boat trailer - the bearings had been submersed in water countless times. A fresh start wouldn't hurt.
Thursday night, I went to the back yard to loosen the lug nuts and make sure they weren't rusted on. "What the hell.....the lug nuts aren't the same size on each side". Upon further inspection, there was a reason it looked good - IN THE DARK!. At one time the axle had snapped and been welded on....but how good of a weld was it? With any weight and the right bump, would the whole thing fold in half somewhere miles from anywhere with my precious cargo strewn about. And the right hub was sealed, cleverly I might add, with a Mountain Dew can and a Coke can. Hmmmm.....and from there the $ started turning into $$ + $ + $ .
Now remember, I can buy what I deemed as the perfect NEW trailer for $900 at a dealer just out of Minneapolis. But Noooooooo.......I can build one for cheaper! Let's go down the checkbook register.
WARNING:
1) IF YOUR NAME IS SHIRLEY, AND YOU'RE MY WIFE, PLEASE STOP READING HERE.
2) IF YOU ARE MY KIDS, AND YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL KEEP ALL COMMENTS TO YOURSELF OR I WILL SELL YOUR CARS TO PAY FOR THIS TRAILER.
Trailer - a STEAL at $150
New axle and hubs - a lesson learned but still within budget - $150
Iron and welding to add a base and convert the "V" trailer to a square - excellent craftsmanship, hired out, not mine - $250
Iron to make the square back into a "V" as it looks better (this is starting to add up in $$) $25
Iron to make sides on top of the frame - needed $75
Labor for the last two - free so far....Thank you Ty for doing 75% of this part. I owe you.
Lumber for the floor and sides - well, I got a Fleet Farm charge card out of the deal and saved 10% plus got deferred interest- $200
Bolts and misc. clamps, clasps, tie downs, etc. (hopefully Ma doesn't see the Fleet Farm charge card bill) - $100
Primer, paint, and stain - we painted our first house for less than this but I need to protect my investment - it may soon be MY house - $75 (when exactly does that Fleet Farm bill come in the mail - could I have it sent to work instead of home?)
Lights - gotta be legal when I have to add a topper and live in my new trailer - $50
By now this thing is so damn heavy, I can barely roll it downhill. I'm going to need a trailer dolly for the front - $50 (or a chiropractor adjustment every time I move it at $35 each; opt for the $50 dolly).
Hours spent on this...I know it's well over 60. Taking it apart, putting it together, sanding, priming, painting, measuring, cutting lumber, wiring, etc. No fee....lots of experience
Flowers for the wife because she won't have stopped reading when she was told to $25
Bribery for the kids to quit bringing it up in front of their mother.....$25 x2
To review:
Unauthorized budget request - under $300
New trailer - $900
Reconditioned boat trailer that I got for cheap and would be an inexpensive "do it yourself" project - to date, over $1,200.
Proving to my wife and family that, yes, once again, I am right, I can build this for cheaper than I can buy it - not sure; had it happened....possibly priceless?
KJ....we'll be there next weekend, need anything hauled?
I started looking at new trailers; anywhere from $400 to $1,700. For $400 you got two small wheels and a frame made of Erector Set material. For $1,700 the trailer loaded itself. I was looking for something UNDER $300. All the used ones I could find in that range had been welded and badly reinforced or needed so much welding that I wasn't sure if I'd make it home with them.
It has been said a million times when out shopping for something....I can make it myself cheaper than that. Knowing that this is always(?) true, I got the bright idea of making one. That seemed like it'd get expensive in a hurry as well (the sum of the parts is greater than that of the whole theory). Scratch that idea. I'm not sure why so many of my ideas get scratched...I must be related to Ty (my brother).
After all these ideas, I read about people converting boat trailers to utility trailers. Larger wheels, heavy frames, axles rated for higher pounds...YES, that's it. And boat trailers are picked up fairly easily toward the end of summer - abundant and cheap.
So I began looking for those. As soon as one went up for sale, I'd call to look at it but it had already been sold. Or the trailer wasn't built like I needed it. It had to be a flat frame, not a bowed frame. Finally one Sunday, minutes before we were to leave for church, one popped up on the Internet. I emailed the party saying I'd be there right after church and to call me. Looking further at the picture, it was exactly what I wanted. I e-mailed again saying never mind...I'LL TAKE IT - call me - evening during church. I turned my phone on vibrate, sat at the end of the pew, and at the back....no call, no call, no call. Great...someone else bought it, I thought. Luckily I got a call as soon as church was out - I was the first to respond to their posting so had first chance at it - Divine Intervention, I'm sure! By now, it was dark (we'd gone to the Sunday night service). I immediately drove to the trailer, looked it over, and damn near pissed myself with excitement as I handed the seller the cash. Exactly what I wanted!!
Of course, during this whole "looking for a trailer" process, my family had become bored and resentful of my struggles. They were all extremely excited that I'd finally found something. Upon bringing it home, honestly, you could see the disappointment in their eyes as they walked into the garage to see the FAMILY'S new trailer - yes, I was willing to share my prize. It was a 16' Lund boat trailer with all the trimmings. Roller arms, rollers, pads, guides, and a winch.....all necessary for a boat trailer, but not a motorcycle trailer.
The first thing I did was take off all the unnecessary items and reposition the hitch. There, it looked like a heavy duty jet ski trailer. I won't bore you with the constant harassing comments from the kids; let's just say they still weren't impressed. I moved it to the back yard so we could have our garage back and explained to the neighbors that, no, I was not going to hang a Sanford and Son sign in our yard.....at this time we had 7 licensed modes of transportation - but that's a story for another time.
I loved (notice the past tense verbiage) this trailer; it was heavy duty but easy to move, well balanced and sturdy, step fenders and brand new 14" tires, and only $150 - what a steal....did these people know what they'd sold and how much more they could have gotten?
Labor Day weekend....I should repack or replace the wheel bearings. A boat trailer - the bearings had been submersed in water countless times. A fresh start wouldn't hurt.
Thursday night, I went to the back yard to loosen the lug nuts and make sure they weren't rusted on. "What the hell.....the lug nuts aren't the same size on each side". Upon further inspection, there was a reason it looked good - IN THE DARK!. At one time the axle had snapped and been welded on....but how good of a weld was it? With any weight and the right bump, would the whole thing fold in half somewhere miles from anywhere with my precious cargo strewn about. And the right hub was sealed, cleverly I might add, with a Mountain Dew can and a Coke can. Hmmmm.....and from there the $ started turning into $$ + $ + $ .
Now remember, I can buy what I deemed as the perfect NEW trailer for $900 at a dealer just out of Minneapolis. But Noooooooo.......I can build one for cheaper! Let's go down the checkbook register.
WARNING:
1) IF YOUR NAME IS SHIRLEY, AND YOU'RE MY WIFE, PLEASE STOP READING HERE.
2) IF YOU ARE MY KIDS, AND YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL KEEP ALL COMMENTS TO YOURSELF OR I WILL SELL YOUR CARS TO PAY FOR THIS TRAILER.
Trailer - a STEAL at $150
New axle and hubs - a lesson learned but still within budget - $150
Iron and welding to add a base and convert the "V" trailer to a square - excellent craftsmanship, hired out, not mine - $250
Iron to make the square back into a "V" as it looks better (this is starting to add up in $$) $25
Iron to make sides on top of the frame - needed $75
Labor for the last two - free so far....Thank you Ty for doing 75% of this part. I owe you.
Lumber for the floor and sides - well, I got a Fleet Farm charge card out of the deal and saved 10% plus got deferred interest- $200
Bolts and misc. clamps, clasps, tie downs, etc. (hopefully Ma doesn't see the Fleet Farm charge card bill) - $100
Primer, paint, and stain - we painted our first house for less than this but I need to protect my investment - it may soon be MY house - $75 (when exactly does that Fleet Farm bill come in the mail - could I have it sent to work instead of home?)
Lights - gotta be legal when I have to add a topper and live in my new trailer - $50
By now this thing is so damn heavy, I can barely roll it downhill. I'm going to need a trailer dolly for the front - $50 (or a chiropractor adjustment every time I move it at $35 each; opt for the $50 dolly).
Hours spent on this...I know it's well over 60. Taking it apart, putting it together, sanding, priming, painting, measuring, cutting lumber, wiring, etc. No fee....lots of experience
Flowers for the wife because she won't have stopped reading when she was told to $25
Bribery for the kids to quit bringing it up in front of their mother.....$25 x2
To review:
Unauthorized budget request - under $300
New trailer - $900
Reconditioned boat trailer that I got for cheap and would be an inexpensive "do it yourself" project - to date, over $1,200.
Proving to my wife and family that, yes, once again, I am right, I can build this for cheaper than I can buy it - not sure; had it happened....possibly priceless?
KJ....we'll be there next weekend, need anything hauled?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Your vote matters
We are having a dilemma here at the DeWitz household. Before we left on vacation, I gave myself a buzz cut. While on vacation, parts of my face didn't see a razor. The first picture is how my mother would like to see me - with long hair. The second is after my "do it yourself" buzz cut. The third is from after we got back from vacation.
Your vote does matter. Which do you prefer? The majority rules the razor on this one.
Last minute announcement - #1 dropped out of the race.
Your vote does matter. Which do you prefer? The majority rules the razor on this one.
Last minute announcement - #1 dropped out of the race.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Pictures below, story here
My last blog was about me putting the snowblower through Sean's window. No, not a rock through the window from the snowblower, but actually putting the snowblower through the window.
Since then we've window shopped....for windows. We had two options. One was to buy windows that cut into the budget, the other was to buy windows that amputated the budget and put it on life support. We chose the lesser option. There are a couple of things that come with new windows. One would be new woodwork for around the windows. The window company brought it over for me to sand, stain, and varnish. After all, it'd save a couple hundred and I like (possibly LIKED as in past tense) staining and varnishing. So I sanded, stained, varnished, sanded, varnished, etc many many many yards of boards. When I was done, I took one into the house to see how it looked. Pretty good...not an exact match but darn close. EXCEPT....the trim wasn't the same. What they supplied was a more modern look, ours is colonial. Maybe it would be close enough. After a restless night, I decided the difference would bother me too much. Off we went to find matching wood, better matching stain, then sand, stain, varnish, repeat. Anyone need some extra trim....will sell for cheap.
The windows went in with no problems. EXCEPT for the inches of dust that coated the house from cut sheetrock, etc. So we cleaned the house from top to bottom.
The new windows are about the same size, just about. Holding up the old blinds, they fit perfectly. Good....this will be a breeze. So I drilled into the new windows to hang the blinds in the office first. Perfect fit left to right. Troy....you are a genius, I thought. Notice the past tense used again. Ok, first blinds hung, let's let them down to see how they fit. Hmmmm, not the normal clunk you hear as the blinds drop. Hmmmm, well, not actually "Hmmmmm", more like "#*@&, $(#*, *@!^, they're not long enough.
Next step, order new blinds for almost all the windows. They arrived and went up ea$$$$$ily.
You know, as long as we've got new windows and new blinds. we might as well paint the kids' rooms. It's been 7-8 years.
Kaitlyn's room first: Kaitlyn had bought a new bedspread a few months back so wanted to paint her room to match. Kaitlyn is not a "decisive" person. Her bedspread has many colors on it. The most I'd paint the room was 2 colors and the ceiling must stay white. Did I mention that Kaitlyn is not a decisive person. Finally the 2 colors were picked - it wasn't that easy but I won't stress you with the story. I can't use Behr paint as something in it makes me sick. No problems with any other paint, just Behr. Kaitlyn's colors were Behr Disney paint. Yes, Scheels hardware can match the pink and the orange. Until it came time to pick it up the 4th of July weekend. They could match the pink. OK...it's the 4th of July weekend....only an official paint store can match the remaining orange....finally we found one that could do the orange. By the way, both places said we'd need colored primer to cover the sea foam green with the other colors.
The pink primer and pink paint covered the green in one coat each. The orange.....not such good luck. After THREE coats of primer I finally said, enough. The paint will have to cover what's still showing through. And, yes, green was still showing through. 2 coats of orange paint and we were done. Out of primer, out of paint, we are done. That room is now 24 square feet smaller because of all the coats of primer and paint. Honestly, it has taken a week for the room to dry. By the way, Kailyn went with white blinds. Miracle of miracles.
Sean's room: Sean IS a decider. Right or wrong, he's decided. "I want my room painted black. Black walls, black ceiling, black blinds". Sorry, Sean, that'd be too dark. "OK then, I want it dark brown and dark red". We not talking tan and a burnt orange/red. We're talking just lighter than black brown and just lighter than black red. Seeking Kaitlyn's input, we secretly asked her to talk to Sean about his choice of colors. Her reply "I'm not talking to him about it. I'm not his parents, you are".
Step #2, Sean's room. Reasoning. Won't bore you with the failed attempts.
Step #3 Sean's room. Bargaining. Finally we came up with a solution. Dark brown blinds, dark brown valances, dark brown bedspread, dark tan and DARK red walls. That didn't take as many coats.
During this time, I discovered a new drink - Southern Comfort.
We're all looking forward to the projects being done. Summer goes by too fast to spend all of it inside working. After all, we have all these projects waiting for us outside as well.
Since then we've window shopped....for windows. We had two options. One was to buy windows that cut into the budget, the other was to buy windows that amputated the budget and put it on life support. We chose the lesser option. There are a couple of things that come with new windows. One would be new woodwork for around the windows. The window company brought it over for me to sand, stain, and varnish. After all, it'd save a couple hundred and I like (possibly LIKED as in past tense) staining and varnishing. So I sanded, stained, varnished, sanded, varnished, etc many many many yards of boards. When I was done, I took one into the house to see how it looked. Pretty good...not an exact match but darn close. EXCEPT....the trim wasn't the same. What they supplied was a more modern look, ours is colonial. Maybe it would be close enough. After a restless night, I decided the difference would bother me too much. Off we went to find matching wood, better matching stain, then sand, stain, varnish, repeat. Anyone need some extra trim....will sell for cheap.
The windows went in with no problems. EXCEPT for the inches of dust that coated the house from cut sheetrock, etc. So we cleaned the house from top to bottom.
The new windows are about the same size, just about. Holding up the old blinds, they fit perfectly. Good....this will be a breeze. So I drilled into the new windows to hang the blinds in the office first. Perfect fit left to right. Troy....you are a genius, I thought. Notice the past tense used again. Ok, first blinds hung, let's let them down to see how they fit. Hmmmm, not the normal clunk you hear as the blinds drop. Hmmmm, well, not actually "Hmmmmm", more like "#*@&, $(#*, *@!^, they're not long enough.
Next step, order new blinds for almost all the windows. They arrived and went up ea$$$$$ily.
You know, as long as we've got new windows and new blinds. we might as well paint the kids' rooms. It's been 7-8 years.
Kaitlyn's room first: Kaitlyn had bought a new bedspread a few months back so wanted to paint her room to match. Kaitlyn is not a "decisive" person. Her bedspread has many colors on it. The most I'd paint the room was 2 colors and the ceiling must stay white. Did I mention that Kaitlyn is not a decisive person. Finally the 2 colors were picked - it wasn't that easy but I won't stress you with the story. I can't use Behr paint as something in it makes me sick. No problems with any other paint, just Behr. Kaitlyn's colors were Behr Disney paint. Yes, Scheels hardware can match the pink and the orange. Until it came time to pick it up the 4th of July weekend. They could match the pink. OK...it's the 4th of July weekend....only an official paint store can match the remaining orange....finally we found one that could do the orange. By the way, both places said we'd need colored primer to cover the sea foam green with the other colors.
The pink primer and pink paint covered the green in one coat each. The orange.....not such good luck. After THREE coats of primer I finally said, enough. The paint will have to cover what's still showing through. And, yes, green was still showing through. 2 coats of orange paint and we were done. Out of primer, out of paint, we are done. That room is now 24 square feet smaller because of all the coats of primer and paint. Honestly, it has taken a week for the room to dry. By the way, Kailyn went with white blinds. Miracle of miracles.
Sean's room: Sean IS a decider. Right or wrong, he's decided. "I want my room painted black. Black walls, black ceiling, black blinds". Sorry, Sean, that'd be too dark. "OK then, I want it dark brown and dark red". We not talking tan and a burnt orange/red. We're talking just lighter than black brown and just lighter than black red. Seeking Kaitlyn's input, we secretly asked her to talk to Sean about his choice of colors. Her reply "I'm not talking to him about it. I'm not his parents, you are".
Step #2, Sean's room. Reasoning. Won't bore you with the failed attempts.
Step #3 Sean's room. Bargaining. Finally we came up with a solution. Dark brown blinds, dark brown valances, dark brown bedspread, dark tan and DARK red walls. That didn't take as many coats.
During this time, I discovered a new drink - Southern Comfort.
We're all looking forward to the projects being done. Summer goes by too fast to spend all of it inside working. After all, we have all these projects waiting for us outside as well.
Finished Painting !!!!
We finally finished the kids' rooms. Sean's was little boy blue and is not teenager brown and red. Kaitlyn's was "sea foam" green and is now Disney orange and pink. One thing remains constant...the cleanliness of the rooms. No, there isn't garbage strewn about. But just about everything else.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Mistake Numero Uno
Looking at Kaitlyn and Sean's blog, you can see how much snow has accumulated between the shed and the house. With the chance of sudden melting and in the interest of keeping the house above water, I decided to leave work early one day, open the walk through door on the garage (behind the snow bank) and just blow the 10 feet of snow away. My plan was to keep going until it was all clear. Before we started, Sean, who was volunteered to help me, asked "Shouldn't we put a piece of plywood over my bedroom window so it doesn't break?". I'm sure you can tell where this story is going already.
"No, son, I'll just stay far enough away from it" I said in my best "trust me, I'm a snow blower expert" arrogance. My first attempt at the snow bank - the snow blower hit the bank, sucked in some slush, pooped it about 6 inches, and just started to spin. Ok...this isn't going to be as easy as I thought. About 2 hours later, Sean and I had a walkable path. But there was still a lot of snow against the shed and against his window. The snow was so deep and slushy that I'd blow a path and Sean would have to help push the blower back to try again. By now the snow on the ground was just mud and slush. Not to mention all the landscaping rock I had put through the snow blower. During one of these attempts, the snow blower ran out of gas. Normally this isn't an issue. However, it was buried in slush in our back yard and would not start. Get the cords, drag them through the mud, choke, prime, turn it over, repeat, repeat, repeat....and this was after I had tried to pull start it for some time. This job was really starting to suck.
I'll work on the shed side now. OK, I got as close to the shed as I dare and had only nicked it a couple of times. Next, the snow near Sean's bedroom window. With my last 2 1/2 hours of snow blowing experience, I should be able to just whittle away at that...being careful to keep a respectable distance from the window. There...that looks good. You know.....I bet I could get just a little closer. During the last pass by the window. the right wheel fell into the mud, the left wheel grabbed the rock, and the snow blower turned and tilted right through Sean's window.
To say I was REALLY pissed is an understatement. The outside pane caved in enough to crack the inside pane. Both still have the glass in but it really won't keep the rain, wind, bugs, dirt, etc. out. It took 2 days before I was calmed down enough to even discuss it. Sean was very careful on his timing "Dad, I hate to say it, but before we started I asked if we should put a board...."
We need to replace almost all the windows in the house but I wanted to do it on my schedule. I guess my schedule has just been moved up.
"No, son, I'll just stay far enough away from it" I said in my best "trust me, I'm a snow blower expert" arrogance. My first attempt at the snow bank - the snow blower hit the bank, sucked in some slush, pooped it about 6 inches, and just started to spin. Ok...this isn't going to be as easy as I thought. About 2 hours later, Sean and I had a walkable path. But there was still a lot of snow against the shed and against his window. The snow was so deep and slushy that I'd blow a path and Sean would have to help push the blower back to try again. By now the snow on the ground was just mud and slush. Not to mention all the landscaping rock I had put through the snow blower. During one of these attempts, the snow blower ran out of gas. Normally this isn't an issue. However, it was buried in slush in our back yard and would not start. Get the cords, drag them through the mud, choke, prime, turn it over, repeat, repeat, repeat....and this was after I had tried to pull start it for some time. This job was really starting to suck.
I'll work on the shed side now. OK, I got as close to the shed as I dare and had only nicked it a couple of times. Next, the snow near Sean's bedroom window. With my last 2 1/2 hours of snow blowing experience, I should be able to just whittle away at that...being careful to keep a respectable distance from the window. There...that looks good. You know.....I bet I could get just a little closer. During the last pass by the window. the right wheel fell into the mud, the left wheel grabbed the rock, and the snow blower turned and tilted right through Sean's window.
To say I was REALLY pissed is an understatement. The outside pane caved in enough to crack the inside pane. Both still have the glass in but it really won't keep the rain, wind, bugs, dirt, etc. out. It took 2 days before I was calmed down enough to even discuss it. Sean was very careful on his timing "Dad, I hate to say it, but before we started I asked if we should put a board...."
We need to replace almost all the windows in the house but I wanted to do it on my schedule. I guess my schedule has just been moved up.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
GPS v. Shirley
Last weekend I took Kaitlyn and 4 of her closest friends to Minneapolis for the weekend. You may wonder how a father would be persuaded to do such a thing. Kaitlyn just celebrated her 16th birthday and for a final hurah we said she could do something fun with friends. We left it up to Kaitlyn to pick who she wanted to chaperon the weekend. Shirley said "If we go shopping in Minneapolis, I'm not just dropping you girls off at some mall and leaving you alone".
I said "If you decide on Minneapolis, I AM dropping you off at the mall. I will NOT stick with you and your friends. You'll be on your own". Kaitlyn's response, "Dad is taking me!"
My Mom and Dad just went to Arizona and before they left, they bought a Garmin GPS unit. We'll call her "Ms. Garmin". I've never used one of these before and never thought I'd have a use for one. Shirley is typically my navigator and chief map reader. Since she was not going to be along and I wanted to be anywhere but the mall, I asked if I could borrow it for the trip. Plus....Sakakawea (my map reader name for Shirley) has been slipping a little lately in the navigational area.....possibly time to look for another scout option. I doubt Lewis & Clark kept Sakakawea the entire trip, unless she was a good cook as well.
Right away I noticed the difference between Shirley and Ms. Garmin. Ms. Garmin took up LESS space. Just a little 3X5 square that sat on the dash board. Ms. Garmin only spoke when I needed a reminder to turn.
Typically when we are in unfamiliar territory, Shirley will read the map and I'm usually in the left lane when I need to be in the right lane. I'll hear"...RIGHT, get in the RIGHT lane; why aren't you in the right lane we have to turn Right right here!".
"Possibly because it is full of OTHER vehicles and I need more notice than as we are going by the turn??!", I'd say.
Ms. Garmin on the other hand typically says, in a rather sluty voice I might add, "in 1 mile you will need to turn right"....followed by silence for the next 1 mile. Then Ms. Garmin will say "in 400 feet "you need to turn right".....followed by silence for 400 feet. Then Ms. Garmin will say "turn right here".
On the rare(?) occasion that Shirley and I do get lost (and by now the kids don't even put down their books, they know we have to turn around and go through the whole thing all over again), we screach and claw at each other until I've turned the family fun bus around and we now have to figure out how to get back to the original set back - using the same methods as previously described.
When I took a wrong turn in Mpls, Ms. Garmin just said, again in that mystifiying voice, "Recalculating". The first time I ignored Ms. Garmin's suggestions, I was already cringing in fear - exactly like a dog that has been beat too many times. MUCH to my surprise, all I heard was "recalculating". Throughout the weekend, whenever I made an error, Ms. Garmin simply said "recalculating". She'd then take about 2 seconds and have a new route all maped out. It was certainly different than the turning and thrashing of the map we'd usually endure from Sakakawea.
The other slight difference is that after an exhausting multi route trip, the family doesn't even wait for the fun bus to stop before the doors are thrown open and everyone vacates the vessel. We're just plain tired of the confusion and arguing. All 4 go in different directions. With Ms. Garmin, all you hear, again in that voice but with a much more excited tone, is "Arriving at destination!" There wasn't a "if you'd listened to me, we'd have gotten here sooner", or "Geez, Dad, that took long enough. Thanks for all the detours" Or, from everyone including the dog "It is about time!".
Next time we saunter into unfamiliar territory with the family fun bus, I'm taking Ms. Garmin AND Shirley along. Yes, the volume on both will be turned up and it will be interesting who's commands I follow. Old habits are hard to break.
There is one area though that Ms. Garmin can't compare to Shirley. That comes in the physical department, if you know what I mean. That's right, Ms. Garmin can't fetch the remote for me....yet.
Possibly, after Shirley reads this and I am sleeping in the van tonight, I'll be rehashing Ms. Garmin's advice and when I thought of typing this, I should have been "recalculating".
I said "If you decide on Minneapolis, I AM dropping you off at the mall. I will NOT stick with you and your friends. You'll be on your own". Kaitlyn's response, "Dad is taking me!"
My Mom and Dad just went to Arizona and before they left, they bought a Garmin GPS unit. We'll call her "Ms. Garmin". I've never used one of these before and never thought I'd have a use for one. Shirley is typically my navigator and chief map reader. Since she was not going to be along and I wanted to be anywhere but the mall, I asked if I could borrow it for the trip. Plus....Sakakawea (my map reader name for Shirley) has been slipping a little lately in the navigational area.....possibly time to look for another scout option. I doubt Lewis & Clark kept Sakakawea the entire trip, unless she was a good cook as well.
Right away I noticed the difference between Shirley and Ms. Garmin. Ms. Garmin took up LESS space. Just a little 3X5 square that sat on the dash board. Ms. Garmin only spoke when I needed a reminder to turn.
Typically when we are in unfamiliar territory, Shirley will read the map and I'm usually in the left lane when I need to be in the right lane. I'll hear"...RIGHT, get in the RIGHT lane; why aren't you in the right lane we have to turn Right right here!".
"Possibly because it is full of OTHER vehicles and I need more notice than as we are going by the turn??!", I'd say.
Ms. Garmin on the other hand typically says, in a rather sluty voice I might add, "in 1 mile you will need to turn right"....followed by silence for the next 1 mile. Then Ms. Garmin will say "in 400 feet "you need to turn right".....followed by silence for 400 feet. Then Ms. Garmin will say "turn right here".
On the rare(?) occasion that Shirley and I do get lost (and by now the kids don't even put down their books, they know we have to turn around and go through the whole thing all over again), we screach and claw at each other until I've turned the family fun bus around and we now have to figure out how to get back to the original set back - using the same methods as previously described.
When I took a wrong turn in Mpls, Ms. Garmin just said, again in that mystifiying voice, "Recalculating". The first time I ignored Ms. Garmin's suggestions, I was already cringing in fear - exactly like a dog that has been beat too many times. MUCH to my surprise, all I heard was "recalculating". Throughout the weekend, whenever I made an error, Ms. Garmin simply said "recalculating". She'd then take about 2 seconds and have a new route all maped out. It was certainly different than the turning and thrashing of the map we'd usually endure from Sakakawea.
The other slight difference is that after an exhausting multi route trip, the family doesn't even wait for the fun bus to stop before the doors are thrown open and everyone vacates the vessel. We're just plain tired of the confusion and arguing. All 4 go in different directions. With Ms. Garmin, all you hear, again in that voice but with a much more excited tone, is "Arriving at destination!" There wasn't a "if you'd listened to me, we'd have gotten here sooner", or "Geez, Dad, that took long enough. Thanks for all the detours" Or, from everyone including the dog "It is about time!".
Next time we saunter into unfamiliar territory with the family fun bus, I'm taking Ms. Garmin AND Shirley along. Yes, the volume on both will be turned up and it will be interesting who's commands I follow. Old habits are hard to break.
There is one area though that Ms. Garmin can't compare to Shirley. That comes in the physical department, if you know what I mean. That's right, Ms. Garmin can't fetch the remote for me....yet.
Possibly, after Shirley reads this and I am sleeping in the van tonight, I'll be rehashing Ms. Garmin's advice and when I thought of typing this, I should have been "recalculating".
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Who's Your Sugar Daddy
OK....a few of you have asked for the "printed" version of the sugar story. There will NOT be a video. The saying that a picture is worth a thousand words would be changed to "a video created a thousand questions....and a call to PETA".
One Friday evening, last summer, Shirley and I headed downtown the the Street Fair. The kids decided not to go (with us ----- however, when their friends asked them to go, there was a different response). As Shirley and I made our way to the furthest end of the fair, Shirley's cell phone rang and Kaitlyn was on the other end.
Shirley: "Hi, Kaitlyn."
Kaitlyn: "S~~~~~ fell down the steps and hurt his wiener."
- pause for clarification - Shirley is hard of hearing. That, and the noise from the crowd at the fair, confused her keen sense of sound and she thought Kaitlyn said "Sean fell down....."
Shirley (to Troy): "Sean fell down the steps and hurt his privates, we need to go home now."
Shirley (to Kaitlyn): "Have him put some ice in a Ziploc and hold it where it hurts."
Kaitlyn: "He's not going to let us keep it there, he'll run away."
Shirley: "Just have him sit in the recliner with ice on it."
Troy: (thoughts rushing through my mind)
1) falling down the steps normally doesn't hurt that part of your body....unless your soldier is standing at attention. If that were the case, why would you be running down the stairs.
2) is it his soldier that is hurt, or, more than likely, the lower goods at the store? I suppose if he landed on a shoe with heels, that could happen.
3) yes, we need to get Sean to the ER. Just the thought of being injured there made me sweat and weak in the knees
Kaitlyn: "MOM!!!, Scooby is the one that hurt his wiener, not Sean!!!" - followed by Kaitlyn's laughter.
Kaitlyn (to Sean): "Mom thought you were the one that got hurt."
Shirley (to Troy) "Oh, it was Scooby, not Sean. We still need to get home right away."
Troy (thoughts rushing through my mind):
1) I was relieved that it was not Sean 2) humored that Shirley got it wrong 3) mildly disturbed that the kids would call for something that trivial.
Troy (to Shirley): "We're not rushing home because the damn dog fell and hurt his dink."
Shirley (to Kaitlyn): "We'll be home in a bit."
So we semi-rushed through the rest of the fair and got home to assess the damages.
Apparently Scooby (not Sean - much to every one's relief, except Kaitlyn) was running UP the carpeted steps and stumbled. This caused his "unit" to protrude from it natural protective environment and dried it at the same time --- rug burn where you don't want rug burn. Apparently dogs' units have to remain wet to be able to have full range of motion. It was obvious that Scooby was in pain. By now his unit was as dry as the Sahara and had started to swell. Swelling there - not typically seen as a "problem" as far as I know, but I've never been - and now never want to be - a dog.
I was the least worried about the situation. Scooby had been fixed so stud service was not on his agenda. Dr. Troy took a look and tried to "recover - as in get the cover over" said dry swollen unit. Being dry and swollen, it did not recover. In addition, male dogs have a bulbous that also swells when they are excited. Apparently, for Scooby, the first part of the fall must have been exciting, as that was now also a tissue issue that needed to be packed back into the protective environment.
At this point, I truly did feel sorry for the dog. First he gets fixed....now this. The next conversation went like this:
Troy: "Sean, get on the Internet and Google "broken dog dicks" ".
Shirley: "Troy !!!!! There isn't going to be anything on there about this."
Sean: "Found it."
Troy: "OK, let me see."
Kaitlyn: "We need to take him to the vet (I ignored this comment....at the time)."
1) we got the call about 6, it is now 8. What do they mean by "immediate"?; 2) maybe we should have left the fair sooner; 3) (and this raced through my mind and out my lips) "we are not taking the dog in to the vet on the weekend because of a broken dick, do you know how much that would cost - a weekend visit!!!??? "
Of course, this was falling on deaf ears and does most "Troy/Dad Speak" at our house. When it comes to the dog, given the choice, I believe, no, I know, the kids would take better care of Scooby than me. The only advantage I have is that I give them cash. Yes....love can be bought.
Back to the Internet: "If this happens to your dog and you can't get immediate help (yes, light at the end of the tunnel.....we have to put him down...someone get the gun!) there are a couple of things you can try that may remedy this yourself."
If I can avoid a vet bill, I'll try anything once. After all, on the farm we never paid for pet's medical attention. We didn't name our cats until they had survived the winter....then we just named them Lucky.
There was an internet video on this site that explained exactly what Scooby was suffering from and the lady (odd choice for this delicate matter) was now going to explain what to do. Try wetting the unit with a damp cloth and then poking it back in. (This did not work as it was VERY dry, swollen, and bulbous).
If this does not work, get some lubricating jelly such as KY. (This opened up a whole other can of worms in our household that I will not get into). After much discussion about discretion, I got out the lube. Given Scooby's situation and the cost of a emergency weekend vet bill, I didn't care who knew what we had where. The kids watch commercials and I knew "KY" wasn't the matter at hand....well, actually it was in a way.
We put Scooby on a towel and Shirley held him down. I believe that at this point he was in enough pain that the lube probably felt pretty damn good. So I lubed our dog up and tried to poke the little gopher back down it's hole. It was a no go. As it was extended and swollen, it was not about to go back.
Back to the video. "If this does not work, you have to take the swelling down."
Pause - NOW, there were a couple thoughts going through my mind. 1) what disturbing act are they now going to suggest? The quickest way to take care of swelling in that area that I know of, I was not about to perform on the family dog.....even with rubber gloves....I wonder where those gloves are anyway; 2) maybe the vet bill would be worth it.
Video - "This is best done by applying sugar to the unit. The sugar will draw out the fluid and cause the swelling to go down". Pheeewwwwww, I wasn't sure what they were going to suggest....sugar seemed much simpler that a lot of scenarios that had just played in my mind.
Troy: "Get the little sugar container from the cupboard - the one that we use to sprinkle sugar on lefsa."
Shirley: "Here is it.....why are you taking the cover off?"
Troy: "I'm not going to "sprinkle" his pecker with sugar, I'm going to coat it."
Shirley: "You're going to use ALL that sugar??????!!!"
Troy: "It's only about 3 tablespoons and we need to WASH the whole thing after this anyway!"
At this point, I wouldn't have cared if we had to dump 10 pounds of sugar on the dog. Scooby and I were both smeared with water, KY, and dog hair. So I poured the bottle of sugar on his unit and immediately it shriveled up and tucked itself back in.
Why wasn't this step #1???? Was this just a cruel joke to see if you'd actually try the other suggestionsd first? Or were the readers smart enough to skip to the end? I was not.
Instantly Scooby (and the family) felt better. Because of the mess that he was, we just put him in his kennel knowing he'd sleep anyway....after licking himself clean of the sugar, of course.
Within a couple of hours, he was back to himself and all of us had gained knowledge about a dog's reproductive system, some about the humans', and gone from "101 uses for sugar" to 102.
So next time you're at our house and you are sprinkling sugar on your lefse, Scooby will be standing beside you looking up with that sparkle in his eye as if saying "Is some of that for me?"
One Friday evening, last summer, Shirley and I headed downtown the the Street Fair. The kids decided not to go (with us ----- however, when their friends asked them to go, there was a different response). As Shirley and I made our way to the furthest end of the fair, Shirley's cell phone rang and Kaitlyn was on the other end.
Shirley: "Hi, Kaitlyn."
Kaitlyn: "S~~~~~ fell down the steps and hurt his wiener."
- pause for clarification - Shirley is hard of hearing. That, and the noise from the crowd at the fair, confused her keen sense of sound and she thought Kaitlyn said "Sean fell down....."
Shirley (to Troy): "Sean fell down the steps and hurt his privates, we need to go home now."
Shirley (to Kaitlyn): "Have him put some ice in a Ziploc and hold it where it hurts."
Kaitlyn: "He's not going to let us keep it there, he'll run away."
Shirley: "Just have him sit in the recliner with ice on it."
Troy: (thoughts rushing through my mind)
1) falling down the steps normally doesn't hurt that part of your body....unless your soldier is standing at attention. If that were the case, why would you be running down the stairs.
2) is it his soldier that is hurt, or, more than likely, the lower goods at the store? I suppose if he landed on a shoe with heels, that could happen.
3) yes, we need to get Sean to the ER. Just the thought of being injured there made me sweat and weak in the knees
Kaitlyn: "MOM!!!, Scooby is the one that hurt his wiener, not Sean!!!" - followed by Kaitlyn's laughter.
Kaitlyn (to Sean): "Mom thought you were the one that got hurt."
Shirley (to Troy) "Oh, it was Scooby, not Sean. We still need to get home right away."
Troy (thoughts rushing through my mind):
1) I was relieved that it was not Sean 2) humored that Shirley got it wrong 3) mildly disturbed that the kids would call for something that trivial.
Troy (to Shirley): "We're not rushing home because the damn dog fell and hurt his dink."
Shirley (to Kaitlyn): "We'll be home in a bit."
So we semi-rushed through the rest of the fair and got home to assess the damages.
Apparently Scooby (not Sean - much to every one's relief, except Kaitlyn) was running UP the carpeted steps and stumbled. This caused his "unit" to protrude from it natural protective environment and dried it at the same time --- rug burn where you don't want rug burn. Apparently dogs' units have to remain wet to be able to have full range of motion. It was obvious that Scooby was in pain. By now his unit was as dry as the Sahara and had started to swell. Swelling there - not typically seen as a "problem" as far as I know, but I've never been - and now never want to be - a dog.
I was the least worried about the situation. Scooby had been fixed so stud service was not on his agenda. Dr. Troy took a look and tried to "recover - as in get the cover over" said dry swollen unit. Being dry and swollen, it did not recover. In addition, male dogs have a bulbous that also swells when they are excited. Apparently, for Scooby, the first part of the fall must have been exciting, as that was now also a tissue issue that needed to be packed back into the protective environment.
At this point, I truly did feel sorry for the dog. First he gets fixed....now this. The next conversation went like this:
Troy: "Sean, get on the Internet and Google "broken dog dicks" ".
Shirley: "Troy !!!!! There isn't going to be anything on there about this."
Sean: "Found it."
Troy: "OK, let me see."
Kaitlyn: "We need to take him to the vet (I ignored this comment....at the time)."
I clicked on the first site and read their details. Sure enough, dogs with long hair on their undercarriage are susceptible to their units not being able to retract. The unit goes out, dries a little, and when it is retracted, the hair and surrounding tissue dry to the unit and cause all functions to halt....including possible blood flow. If this happens to your dog and you can't correct the situation, immediately take him to the vet.
Troy (thoughts rushing through my mind):1) we got the call about 6, it is now 8. What do they mean by "immediate"?; 2) maybe we should have left the fair sooner; 3) (and this raced through my mind and out my lips) "we are not taking the dog in to the vet on the weekend because of a broken dick, do you know how much that would cost - a weekend visit!!!??? "
Of course, this was falling on deaf ears and does most "Troy/Dad Speak" at our house. When it comes to the dog, given the choice, I believe, no, I know, the kids would take better care of Scooby than me. The only advantage I have is that I give them cash. Yes....love can be bought.
Back to the Internet: "If this happens to your dog and you can't get immediate help (yes, light at the end of the tunnel.....we have to put him down...someone get the gun!) there are a couple of things you can try that may remedy this yourself."
If I can avoid a vet bill, I'll try anything once. After all, on the farm we never paid for pet's medical attention. We didn't name our cats until they had survived the winter....then we just named them Lucky.
There was an internet video on this site that explained exactly what Scooby was suffering from and the lady (odd choice for this delicate matter) was now going to explain what to do. Try wetting the unit with a damp cloth and then poking it back in. (This did not work as it was VERY dry, swollen, and bulbous).
If this does not work, get some lubricating jelly such as KY. (This opened up a whole other can of worms in our household that I will not get into). After much discussion about discretion, I got out the lube. Given Scooby's situation and the cost of a emergency weekend vet bill, I didn't care who knew what we had where. The kids watch commercials and I knew "KY" wasn't the matter at hand....well, actually it was in a way.
We put Scooby on a towel and Shirley held him down. I believe that at this point he was in enough pain that the lube probably felt pretty damn good. So I lubed our dog up and tried to poke the little gopher back down it's hole. It was a no go. As it was extended and swollen, it was not about to go back.
Back to the video. "If this does not work, you have to take the swelling down."
Pause - NOW, there were a couple thoughts going through my mind. 1) what disturbing act are they now going to suggest? The quickest way to take care of swelling in that area that I know of, I was not about to perform on the family dog.....even with rubber gloves....I wonder where those gloves are anyway; 2) maybe the vet bill would be worth it.
Video - "This is best done by applying sugar to the unit. The sugar will draw out the fluid and cause the swelling to go down". Pheeewwwwww, I wasn't sure what they were going to suggest....sugar seemed much simpler that a lot of scenarios that had just played in my mind.
Troy: "Get the little sugar container from the cupboard - the one that we use to sprinkle sugar on lefsa."
Shirley: "Here is it.....why are you taking the cover off?"
Troy: "I'm not going to "sprinkle" his pecker with sugar, I'm going to coat it."
Shirley: "You're going to use ALL that sugar??????!!!"
Troy: "It's only about 3 tablespoons and we need to WASH the whole thing after this anyway!"
At this point, I wouldn't have cared if we had to dump 10 pounds of sugar on the dog. Scooby and I were both smeared with water, KY, and dog hair. So I poured the bottle of sugar on his unit and immediately it shriveled up and tucked itself back in.
Why wasn't this step #1???? Was this just a cruel joke to see if you'd actually try the other suggestionsd first? Or were the readers smart enough to skip to the end? I was not.
Instantly Scooby (and the family) felt better. Because of the mess that he was, we just put him in his kennel knowing he'd sleep anyway....after licking himself clean of the sugar, of course.
Within a couple of hours, he was back to himself and all of us had gained knowledge about a dog's reproductive system, some about the humans', and gone from "101 uses for sugar" to 102.
So next time you're at our house and you are sprinkling sugar on your lefse, Scooby will be standing beside you looking up with that sparkle in his eye as if saying "Is some of that for me?"
Sunday, January 4, 2009
My Handkerchief and Some X-Mas Pictures from Our House
There are times, lots of times, that Kaitlyn buys something to wear and I tell her "I have handkerchiefs that have more material than that.....and for 1/10 the price". However, once she puts the new top or shorts on AND THEN puts sweat pants, a sweatshirt, coveralls, and a coat on, everything is appropriately covered.
Sean just got his new swim suit. It is called a "Jammer". (I had to ask and look it up) http://www.speedousa.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=jammer&origkw=jammer&sr=1
Now I can honestly say "I have handkerchiefs that......" This thing is 8" wide and 12" long. Sean is really skinny but I can't imagine how he gets into these. Not to mention a whole list of other questions that come to mind. AND - they wear these for hours.
For the Christmas season, Kaitlyn and her friend Chelsey dyed Scooby's tail pink. It has faded now but was pretty vivid earlier. Being a male dog, this did cause him some issues. He had another "sugar" incident the other day. For those that don't know, I will spare you the details unless you ask for them.
For x-mas the kids got a Wii (in July) and new cell phones the first part of December. So when x-mas did arrive, under our tree it looked like the Grinch had come and gone, taking everything with him.........it was bare.
No, our house is not so cold that we need all the blankets that are on the couch. Jeff was coming to visit and we wanted to make him feel at home....so we shut the furnace off.
For x-mas the kids got a Wii (in July) and new cell phones the first part of December. So when x-mas did arrive, under our tree it looked like the Grinch had come and gone, taking everything with him.........it was bare.No, our house is not so cold that we need all the blankets that are on the couch. Jeff was coming to visit and we wanted to make him feel at home....so we shut the furnace off.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Mistaken Identity
I was on my way back to Fargo the other day and stopped in Jamestown shortly after noon for a quick lunch. We don't have many Hardee's in Fargo so thought I'd try that for a change. As I approached the counter to order, a man in his 50's to early 60's greeted me with "HOOOO, HOOOO, HOOOO for here or to GOOOO". Very clever, I thought. There is someone who is truly in the Christmas spirit (Yes, Christmas, not "Holiday"...so if you're offended, too bad, it's my blog). His joyful and uninhibited tone seemed contagious. His red and green Christmas tie and Santa hat brought it all together. This was the perfect person to greet hungry customers. What a pleasant change from some of the rush and grumblings about the season.
"Your order is #52" he said and he proudly handed me one of the little red plastic number tents.
"OK", I thought to myself. "I haven't ordered yet but guess I have my number already....this guy is efficient."
"Will you be having a sandwich or soup and salad today", he asked.
"Hmmmmm..." I considered my options. I need to lose weight and have high cholesterol so should go with the salad. "I'll have a #7"
"Did you want to super size your meal?"; I didn't.
"Curly or regular fries?", I took regular - by now readers, you guessed I didn't go with the salad.
"And do you qualify for the SENIOR CITIZEN discount?" the moron asked sincerely.
" ", yes, I was speechless. I wasn't sure if he had actually asked that but there the dufus was, waiting for my answer. When I started talking, my mouth worked faster than my brain.
"First of all", I said harshly, "Do I look like I'd qualify for the senior citizen discount? I'm offended that you even asked". I don't know why I said "first of all", there wasn't a 2nd of all or a 3rd of all. Had there been, I doubt that I'd have said them in public.....but at this point, anything could have come out of my trap.
Honestly, I EXPECTED him to say "We ask that of everyone so as not to leave anyone out" followed by a plethora of apologies and maybe even get a free dessert to lessen his guilt. The manager will probably show up shortly to smooth things over, as my comment and disgust was obvious. After all, did this bumbling over-sized fake attempt at a Christmas elf, who really should be working in a non public job, actually think I deserved the SENIOR CITIZEN discount? What a putz this moron was.
But there the twit stood, with an expression that only said "WELL LOUD MOUTH......DO YOU QUALIFY?"
"NO, I DON'T" I got my meal and went to sulk at the furthermost table I could find. Then I listened, maybe he really does ask that of everyone and I just missed it. So I carefully listened as he greeted the next few people in line with his nauseating "ho, ho, ho, for here or to go" fake x-mas tone. Occasionally he'd ask someone about the discount.....but they were people that actually looked like they'd be over 55.
This incident has been wearing on me all week. Am I aging? I had seen a couple of my classmates in the past weeks and, yes, THEY have aged far more than I have. But then I got to thinking....there are a couple of tell tale signs that possibly make me appear over 40.
1) It seems to be cold a lot. I used to wear shorts and a t-shirt in the house year round. Sweat pants and a sweatshirt are my new best friends. I've even caught myself hanging my coat up at work when no one else is wearing one.
2) People don't talk as loud as they used to and some mumble too much. It isn't my hearing, it is the newer generations. And print is SO very fine. After living 35+ years with glasses, first thing on in the morning and last thing off at night, at times I actually have to take them off to read. The bifocals can't do it all.
3) Teenagers are getting married too young, having kids too soon, and working where I work - with attitude....and they don't look like they should even be out of school. We have new neighbors and when I met the 13 year old husband and father of 2, I said without thinking "You look so young".
4) I've been saying more of what is on my mind and caring less about how loud or who hears it. Truly, this is inherited from my mother.
5) It is supposed to be below 35 (not 35 below, but below 35), we should stay home. Previously, I loved winter and couldn't wait for snow storms. I'd be out with my snow blower saving the world. Now......I really hope the neighbor with the riding lawn mower/snow blower/4X4 John Deere garden tractor comes over before I make it out to clean the driveway - tomorrow night.
6) A few weeks back the kids were gone on a Friday evening to friend's houses. I said to Shirley "We have the place to ourselves for a while......we could always (wink, wink). Shirley, always quick to respond with an alternative plan said "We could.....or we could go out for supper". In a previous life, I'd have gone for the first "we could" in a heart-beat. However, I actually stopped to think about it before saying, "where should we go?".
7) I still like movies with action, violence, sex, gore, and manageable plots - but not too in depth. If I have to figure it out - it is not entertaining. That has not changed.
That's it.....I have to go, the Weather Channel is back on!!!
"Your order is #52" he said and he proudly handed me one of the little red plastic number tents.
"OK", I thought to myself. "I haven't ordered yet but guess I have my number already....this guy is efficient."
"Will you be having a sandwich or soup and salad today", he asked.
"Hmmmmm..." I considered my options. I need to lose weight and have high cholesterol so should go with the salad. "I'll have a #7"
"Did you want to super size your meal?"; I didn't.
"Curly or regular fries?", I took regular - by now readers, you guessed I didn't go with the salad.
"And do you qualify for the SENIOR CITIZEN discount?" the moron asked sincerely.
" ", yes, I was speechless. I wasn't sure if he had actually asked that but there the dufus was, waiting for my answer. When I started talking, my mouth worked faster than my brain.
"First of all", I said harshly, "Do I look like I'd qualify for the senior citizen discount? I'm offended that you even asked". I don't know why I said "first of all", there wasn't a 2nd of all or a 3rd of all. Had there been, I doubt that I'd have said them in public.....but at this point, anything could have come out of my trap.
Honestly, I EXPECTED him to say "We ask that of everyone so as not to leave anyone out" followed by a plethora of apologies and maybe even get a free dessert to lessen his guilt. The manager will probably show up shortly to smooth things over, as my comment and disgust was obvious. After all, did this bumbling over-sized fake attempt at a Christmas elf, who really should be working in a non public job, actually think I deserved the SENIOR CITIZEN discount? What a putz this moron was.
But there the twit stood, with an expression that only said "WELL LOUD MOUTH......DO YOU QUALIFY?"
"NO, I DON'T" I got my meal and went to sulk at the furthermost table I could find. Then I listened, maybe he really does ask that of everyone and I just missed it. So I carefully listened as he greeted the next few people in line with his nauseating "ho, ho, ho, for here or to go" fake x-mas tone. Occasionally he'd ask someone about the discount.....but they were people that actually looked like they'd be over 55.
This incident has been wearing on me all week. Am I aging? I had seen a couple of my classmates in the past weeks and, yes, THEY have aged far more than I have. But then I got to thinking....there are a couple of tell tale signs that possibly make me appear over 40.
1) It seems to be cold a lot. I used to wear shorts and a t-shirt in the house year round. Sweat pants and a sweatshirt are my new best friends. I've even caught myself hanging my coat up at work when no one else is wearing one.
2) People don't talk as loud as they used to and some mumble too much. It isn't my hearing, it is the newer generations. And print is SO very fine. After living 35+ years with glasses, first thing on in the morning and last thing off at night, at times I actually have to take them off to read. The bifocals can't do it all.
3) Teenagers are getting married too young, having kids too soon, and working where I work - with attitude....and they don't look like they should even be out of school. We have new neighbors and when I met the 13 year old husband and father of 2, I said without thinking "You look so young".
4) I've been saying more of what is on my mind and caring less about how loud or who hears it. Truly, this is inherited from my mother.
5) It is supposed to be below 35 (not 35 below, but below 35), we should stay home. Previously, I loved winter and couldn't wait for snow storms. I'd be out with my snow blower saving the world. Now......I really hope the neighbor with the riding lawn mower/snow blower/4X4 John Deere garden tractor comes over before I make it out to clean the driveway - tomorrow night.
6) A few weeks back the kids were gone on a Friday evening to friend's houses. I said to Shirley "We have the place to ourselves for a while......we could always (wink, wink). Shirley, always quick to respond with an alternative plan said "We could.....or we could go out for supper". In a previous life, I'd have gone for the first "we could" in a heart-beat. However, I actually stopped to think about it before saying, "where should we go?".
7) I still like movies with action, violence, sex, gore, and manageable plots - but not too in depth. If I have to figure it out - it is not entertaining. That has not changed.
That's it.....I have to go, the Weather Channel is back on!!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Progress
Finally last weekend I decided to put it all together. I had to move all of the furniture in the family room into the hallway or along the east wall. Then I pulled the train table out into the open so I could turn it for easy access to all sides. Off and on over the next 2 days I rallied any help I could find and we added the 2nd level. It is not straight, it is not in alignment, it is not level, it is just tacked together so I could put the family room back in order and work on the project during the winter. It was nice to see some progress.Saturday, November 15, 2008
Grandma Shirley / Uncle Sean
I just couldn't bring myself to say "Kaitlyn had a baby" in the title. One of Kaitlyn's projects for her child development class is "Baby Think It Over". Kaitlyn received this VERY realistic baby Friday around 11 a.m. and will have it until Monday around 11 a.m. See her blog for all the details. Let's just say I refer to it as "Baby Cries a Lot". Did any of us get a good night's sleep?! Even the dog is having issues with the noise. I was "feeding" the electronic crying, eating, farting machine and accidentally let her head flop back while I was reaching for my food - hey, the sitter needs to eat too. Apparently, in addition to all the noise that followed, Kaitlyn will get a deduction of a few points for that mishap. Lesson #2 screen your sitters before hiring them. Just in case you are wondering, lesson #1 is no boys until you are 30.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My Bridges
I finally have my bridges mostly completed. These are the 4 I made. They are mainly made out of pieces cut, trimmed, and sanded from much larger pieces. 1x3 and 1x4 pine boards trimmed to 1/4x1/4 or 1/8 by 1/8. Of course there were some purchased; the round ones for example or if I needed some that had to be absolutely straight.
The first one was the most time consuming with the most pieces. It isn't perfectly straight yet. That's the nice thing about using hot glue instead of wood glue. If you need to straighten something out, just pop it into the microwave for 10-15 seconds and it is easy to reshape. Obviously you have to wait until the wife is out of the house to do this.....it might not go over so well.
The 2nd is the most creative that I tried. This is the one where I wet the wood and clamped it to the pizza pan to bake for 15-20 minutes at 200 to get the curved shape. By the way, mother was gone when I tried that, too.
#3 was the easiest and quickest. All straight pieces - very simple. This one I am going to name the Barack Obama Memorial Bridge - details to follow.
#4 is the most frustrating. I worked and worked to get all the pieces exactly the same size, level, square, etc., etc., etc. As I tightened each of the cables, it pulled the upward supports closer and closer together.....not noticing that until it was too late. Even the oven trick won't work on this one. So if you look quickly, you'll never notice that it is not even. I ran the cables through eye hooks and twisted the eye hooks to tighten the cables. Under the bridge is a huge mess of cables and eye hooks - not very neatly done. But as they say in Japan - its a bridge. The only thing left for all 4 is painting - suggestions for colors are welcome. I'm thinking #1 will be weathered brown or left as is, #2 will be silver to look like a dull aluminum, #3 will be a flat black to look like painted steel, and #4, I'm not sure. The silver cables will be left as it. Weathered red, gray/white, blue gray....suggestions?????
The first one was the most time consuming with the most pieces. It isn't perfectly straight yet. That's the nice thing about using hot glue instead of wood glue. If you need to straighten something out, just pop it into the microwave for 10-15 seconds and it is easy to reshape. Obviously you have to wait until the wife is out of the house to do this.....it might not go over so well.
The 2nd is the most creative that I tried. This is the one where I wet the wood and clamped it to the pizza pan to bake for 15-20 minutes at 200 to get the curved shape. By the way, mother was gone when I tried that, too.
#3 was the easiest and quickest. All straight pieces - very simple. This one I am going to name the Barack Obama Memorial Bridge - details to follow.
#4 is the most frustrating. I worked and worked to get all the pieces exactly the same size, level, square, etc., etc., etc. As I tightened each of the cables, it pulled the upward supports closer and closer together.....not noticing that until it was too late. Even the oven trick won't work on this one. So if you look quickly, you'll never notice that it is not even. I ran the cables through eye hooks and twisted the eye hooks to tighten the cables. Under the bridge is a huge mess of cables and eye hooks - not very neatly done. But as they say in Japan - its a bridge. The only thing left for all 4 is painting - suggestions for colors are welcome. I'm thinking #1 will be weathered brown or left as is, #2 will be silver to look like a dull aluminum, #3 will be a flat black to look like painted steel, and #4, I'm not sure. The silver cables will be left as it. Weathered red, gray/white, blue gray....suggestions?????
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My Babies
One of my favorite times of the day is when we tucked the kids in bed. They're winding down, have just had a bath, are warm and cuddly, and all is at peace with the world.Then.......they turn to teenagers and they begin tucking you in.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Fits Like a Glove
Shirley & Kristi were watching the National FFA Convention on TV Friday night. Of course Jeff, Sean, & Kaitlyn pretended like they were not interested but we know better. So Saturday night's conversation revolved around our FFA jackets. (I was in Fargo while the rest of my family was in Mpls - so this involved a couple of phone calls).
In all honesty, it was a little snug. One of the pictures I took had the cross that hangs in our hallway in the background so I better not lie...... I didn't think I was going to get the damn thing zipped. I was packed so tight into that blue jacket that my man boobs have corduroy grooves in them. When I went to unzip my jacket (as I was about to pass out), I raised my left hand and it was actually numb. Oh, well, it looks way too formal zipped up. I like the loose gangsta look anyway! I know today's plastic zippers would never had held all that muscle inside. Now that I think of it, all of my pins were on the inside, that is why it was just a little tight. One other note, - back then my glasses were a lot bigger and I had more hair. Since 1984 I've downsized the glasses and hair and apparently up sized the body. I'm going to go have a bowl of ice cream - with extra toppings - just to celebrate the fact that I can wear clothes that I wore 25 years ago!
Kristi apparently had her jacket on and I heard some bragging about how well it still fit. Not to be outdone, I took mine out of it's garment bag for a look see. The first thing I noticed, besides the fact that it is a lot smaller than anything else in my closet, is the garment bag. It is dated 1976 "America's Bi-Centennial". However the buttons from the National Convention were more modern. One dated 1983 and one 1984. Shirley & I met at the November 1983 convention in Kansas City, MO. Yes, that is 25 years ago. Back to the fitting. Of course I could get it zipped! Was there ever any doubt? I had to have my camera close though as I could not bend, breath or turn. Ignore the sweat pants. I was only trying to prove a point, not actually going out of the house. In case you can't read the jacket, it says "President" below my name. I think that is what attracted Shirley. She likes the authoritative type.
In all honesty, it was a little snug. One of the pictures I took had the cross that hangs in our hallway in the background so I better not lie...... I didn't think I was going to get the damn thing zipped. I was packed so tight into that blue jacket that my man boobs have corduroy grooves in them. When I went to unzip my jacket (as I was about to pass out), I raised my left hand and it was actually numb. Oh, well, it looks way too formal zipped up. I like the loose gangsta look anyway! I know today's plastic zippers would never had held all that muscle inside. Now that I think of it, all of my pins were on the inside, that is why it was just a little tight. One other note, - back then my glasses were a lot bigger and I had more hair. Since 1984 I've downsized the glasses and hair and apparently up sized the body. I'm going to go have a bowl of ice cream - with extra toppings - just to celebrate the fact that I can wear clothes that I wore 25 years ago!Saturday, October 18, 2008
Copying Kristi
When I read KJ's "more things about me" post, I got to thinking - I really don't care (just kidding - it is always interesting how siblings can be so different from each other). Then I heard KJ in the back of my mind saying: "oh, come on......what are your.......?" I narrowed my list a little.
Favorite TV shows:
Boston Legal
Law & Order SVU
Anything with Kate Jackson (is she stil alive?)
Favorite restaurants:
Moe's
Bennigan's
Things I did yesterday:
Tried to find Sean's friend's house off a map she had drawn for him. Memo to self: If an 8th grader draws you a map, fold it up, put it in your pocket, and go to MapQuest. It will save you 25 minutes, 3 gallons of gas, and a wad of hair.
Went to the VFW in West Fargo with Tami, Rick, and Lori for some drinks, live music, and LOTS of laughs.
Things I love about fall:
No more heat, humidity or mosquitos.
Knowing what the kids are up to during the day and how much cheaper it is than when they are on summer vacation :>)
Things I look forward to:
Can't print it here.
Things on my wish list:
Refer back to Things I look forward to.
Ty - we'll await your list, and await, and await, and await.
Favorite TV shows:
Boston Legal
Law & Order SVU
Anything with Kate Jackson (is she stil alive?)
Favorite restaurants:
Moe's
Bennigan's
Things I did yesterday:
Tried to find Sean's friend's house off a map she had drawn for him. Memo to self: If an 8th grader draws you a map, fold it up, put it in your pocket, and go to MapQuest. It will save you 25 minutes, 3 gallons of gas, and a wad of hair.
Went to the VFW in West Fargo with Tami, Rick, and Lori for some drinks, live music, and LOTS of laughs.
Things I love about fall:
No more heat, humidity or mosquitos.
Knowing what the kids are up to during the day and how much cheaper it is than when they are on summer vacation :>)
Things I look forward to:
Can't print it here.
Things on my wish list:
Refer back to Things I look forward to.
Ty - we'll await your list, and await, and await, and await.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Couple of Things
First.....I know many of you are dying to know how the train show went. There were a lot of exhibits and people. At times the line was long but worth it. I bought some more track.....you can't ever have enough track. It was 50% off so a good bargain.The 2nd story is one I've told a couple of family members. For those that don't know, I exercise at Waterford - yes, the retirement home. They have a small exercise room and a nice pool. Since I really like to swim, it works well. The downfall....old people. Most, again, that is MOST are pleasant and extremely talkative. At the end of the day, after dealing with issues and talking to people all day, I prefer to exercise in misery....not really up for conversation or more people. I think most of them know that by now. The exercise room (treadmills and weight machines) is usually quiet - as one would expect. However, the warm pool is really busy with classes and chatterers until around 7. So if I show up to actually swim, heaven forbid, before 7, I often get the evil eye. But I have my glasses off so don't pay much attention. I've always thought it'd be really fun to run and do an huge cannonball. Of course, there would be complaints and I'd probably get kicked out of the senior center. I refer to them as "old fatties" or just " fatties". By the way, I have red swim trunks....see below.
Anyway, back to my story: The whole complex parking lot is full of old people cars, Buicks like I like are common. One day I convinced Shirely to go with me. As we approached in our old person car, the sole person going into the exercise place is doing so with the aid of a walker. What a first impression - it was worth a good laugh. Last Saturday morning when I went to exercise, I entered the locker room and there were 3 walkers parked along the wall. No, it didn't cross my mind to move them or lock the brakes on all of them, or tie them together....well, maybe it did. 3 walkers parked along the wall, like their Buicks outside, different options, makes, models, mileage, etc. The place was hopping....actually not hopping, maybe gimping along. I swear I'm the only one with original knees and hips. Plus, I don't have a scar from neck to navel due to open heart surgery....yet. As if that wasn't bad enough, imagine this: the old naked guys in the locker room move rather slowly and really don't care that they stand for hours talking in the nude. Worse yet, they sit on the bench naked and talk. There were things there that I really didn't care to see butt sometimes there is no avoiding it. It was truly funny. All these old guys, naked, shuffling around the locker room, stopping to talk to each other just like they were at the mall. No, Ty & KJ, I did not fit right in.
When I first joined, I offered to take Ty and KJ with me some time....but then told them: that's right, you aren't old enough. Minimum age to join is 40. Of course, Ty can now go. With his bum back, he'd be one of he pack.
Obervation:
I've decided years ago that there are 2 kids of people and this really magnifies as people age. The first group see good in almost everything, they laugh harder at themselves than anyone else, like a good joke and you seldom hear them complain and are truly pleasant to be around. The best examples of this group are my 2 grandmas. They always amazed me with their lively spirit and sense of humor. Especially the fact that they can laugh at themselves. That takes a secure person.
The 2nd group are people that are always bitter. Their stories are complaints, gripes, and humor in other's misfortune. They are never wrong and are never happy. I won't share an example becaure it'd piss them off even more.
It must be that a certain point in your life, you take the happy route or the bitchy route. I hope I turn at the happy route.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Bridge
I had to take a break from the trestle. There are SO many pieces to cut. Each trestle has 36 pieces of wood in varying lengths, widths, and sizes. I made one more after the template then realized I should cut all the pieces prior to assembly. With the wood I have cut, I have 7 more trestles ready to assemble. However, I ran out of cut wood so have to get the saw going. The one downside to the cutting is a terrible cough I've gotten from the fine saw dust. It was either a dust collection system for $$$ or try a ventilation mask for $. I'll try the mask - I hate masks. They are hot and stinky. Since I can cut outside in the summer and not wear one; using a mask in the winter may not be as bad.
In the meantime, I decided to try building an arched bridge. After seeing the Memorial Bridge in Bismarck being blown up, it gave me some incentive. Since there were so many complaints - on line as well as off - about my details, I'll keep it simple:
An arched bridge is a bridge with an arch.
Now, for those that are truly curious and want to open their minds for knowledge, read on. I'm sure you are wondering: "Troy, how did you make that nice curve?" Well, my goal was to make this bridge entirely out of wooden dowels then paint is silver as if it were made out of pipe. I figured if I bought the smallest dowels in circumference, soaked them in water (wood bending), then shaped and dried them, it would work. After breaking several (I'm a quick learner??), I determined that would NOT work. So I went to the "old ladies with too much time on their hands" store, aka Hobby Lobby, and bought some flat pieces of Balsa wood. It is a very light and porous wood. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-balsa-wood.htm - for those who like the details! By the way, Hobby Lobby does sell train sets and some train supplies. So if you have a 40% off coupon, you can get railroad cars relatively cheap. But watch out for the above mentioned old ladies, they can hamper your balsa wood and train supply buying spree.
I soaked the Balsa wood in hot water for a couple of minutes and then used clothes hangers to hold it to the perimeter of our largest pizza pan - which is also what I used to draw the plans you see above. I put it in the oven at 200 degrees for about 10 minutes with the convection feature on to speed the process. When it came out, it had dried into the curve needed. This made it easier to work with. Then I used dowels for the vertical supports. I am going to make 4 of these pieces that you see above.
Today: There is a train show at the Ramada. I'm getting dressed up in my Sunday Train Engineer best for the event. Shirley....don't hold dinner for me - I may be home late!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
1st trestle piece made and a template
A couple of years ago I got a ton of boards that are 1/4" thick, 4" wide and 3' long. Now I have found a use for them. In my goal to build a trestle without spending (much) money, it is coming together. I cut the boards into 1/4 x 1/4 inch x 36" pieces, plus some 1/4 x 1/8 x 36". The 1/4 by 1/4 are the main beams and the thinner ones are the cross members. Above is how they look after being ripped lenghwise.
This is the first trestle support that I made (laying on its side if you look at it this way). It took 4 evenings to get 4 pieces on. I had to square it up and wait for the glue to dry. I decided piss on that and started using the hot glue gun. It bonds in 1-2 seconds and I built the rest of this in one evening.When I got done with the first one and was showing off my accomplishment, I actually kinda got a compliment from Kaitlyn. She said "huh......I didn't think you could do it". Apparently the plans looked complicated and she thought it was beyond my talents. The "huh" was the compliment part.
I have about 19 of these to make. But first I have to cut all the wood for them.
This is the same support from the side.
This is the template I made for assembling the rest of them. Of course now that I have the template made, I've thought of a couple of things I should have changed.
This is how the pieces will lay in the template.
This is my sander. I can't use it for these small pieces, those I have to sand by hand. I just knew you wanted to see a picture of my sander. I love it. For those of you that use those fancy stones for the hard skin your feet, this would do the trick much quicker. But get your own, you're not using my sander for your feet. The round sliver disc also holds a sanding pad. You could use that on your toe nails.
Turn your head for this one, too. Does anyone know how to rotate pictures? This is my band saw. I use it to cut all of the small pieces. I love it, too. It makes just the coolest noise when it starts up and shuts off. You can actually feel the power. I have been warned by several people that it is really easy to cut a finger off with one of these. Because you work so close to the blade and are always moving your hands toward it....I guess some people have learned the hard way. Hopefully you don't seen any pictures of me at Innovis Hospital.
Off the trestle subject for now. This is one of the braces that will be screwed to the main frame and support the non trestled portions of the 2nd level. These get put together in about 5 minutes but it takes a day for the glue to dry. Because they will have more of a load, I can't use hot glue for them. I have about 17 of these to make. All of the pieces are cut for these.
This is how it looks standing up.
That's all for now. I don't want to overload anyone with info.
One thing that I do have to brag about......I update my blog more often than Kaitlyn & Sean do theirs.
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